How to Stop Giving the Powerful More Power + Build Up Our Own Instead
Years ago, I knew a woman who worked at a muscle magazine. She told me that before photoshoots, some bodybuilders would inject a kind of filler into their muscles to temporarily make them look bigger.
It's very dangerous, and very effective. It creates the appearance of strength, though the muscles deflate shortly after the photoshoot. It's also very ironic; these bodybuilders were strong. But it's not enough for them; they wanted to appear even stronger.
These winter evenings, I've been reading a doorstop of a book about Jim Wright, Speaker of the House in the late 1980s. And one line is as true now as it was then: "The perception of power is power."
Speaker, Senator, President, Congresswoman – those titles have baked in power. But if the occupants of them act powerful on top of that - lots of swagger and tough talk, flouting norms, testing the edges of what's allowed - they may be perceived as having even more power than their title affords them.
And everyone around them may act like readers of those bodybuilding magazines: mistaking the falsely enlarged muscles for actually enlarged power.
This mistaking is part of how some powerful people end up with surplus power: they get power over our attention, our mood, our fears, even our hopes. In other words, we may accidentally give them the powers they want most from us.
Because when we perceive ourselves as not having power (and that's perception, not reality), that can easily slip into helplessness, despair, paralysis. And the powerful take that as consent to do whatever they want.
There is a wonderful line in George Eliot's Middlemarch: "What we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope." Feeding that hungry hope seems like a good first step to building our power back up.
Here are a few pragmatic approaches I find useful:
Take the Wins
We who care about the planet and the life that occupies it might be at the greatest risk for "Yeah, but..." syndrome. It goes something like this:
"Did you hear a judge blocked this bad policy?!"
"Yeah, but it'll come up again."
OR
"It's great to see my team getting into the fight on this!"
"Yeah, but they could've stepped into the ring sooner."
There is so much at stake. So many being harmed. So many in harm's way. No question: we are the underdogs right now. But the underdog never became the top dog by acting defeatist out of the gate.
The opposite of "Yeah, but..." is the old improv line, "Yes, and..." A great fan doesn't wait for the touchdown to cheer. They cheer each five-yard gain because that's five-yards closer to the end zone. Add small win on top of small win, don't take any forward momentum for granted.
This isn't naive. This isn't denying reality. This is building our fortitude to make reality better.
Remember: David did beat Goliath.
Thank the Good Politicians
Let's not take the good ones for granted. If you have politicians representing you who are on the right side of history, it's a beautiful thing to thank them for what they're doing. Being in Congress right now is 99 flavors of hard; gratitude helps to keep the good ones in the fight.
Don't know who represents you in Congress, click here to find out.
You can send an email using the form on the politician's website. If you want to take it to the 201 level, try this:
- Choose a specific thing you want to thank the politician for doing/saying.
- Call the politician's DC office, ask for the name of the staffer who handles that issue.
- Send the staffer a short, friendly note identifying yourself as a constituent and thanking them for what they're doing.
House email format is firstname.lastname@mail.house.gov. Dudley DoRight would be Dudley.Doright@mail.house.gov.
Senate email format is firstname_lastname@senatorslastname.senate.gov. Dudley DoRight who works for Senator Bullwinkle would be dudley_doright@bullwinkle.senate.gov.
Note: Only choose something policy related, not campaign related. DC staff only work on policy issues, not campaign issues.
Standing Friend Dates
A beloved friend and I talk weekly, and life would be heavier without it. We co-hold what's too much to bear alone and delight in each other's triumphs.
We'll get through this season together, and standing dates - whether calls or walks or gym meetups or otherwise - make it easier to accompany each other.
Show Up for the Most Impacted
When someone dies, we write cards, send lilies, drop off soup, go to the service. None of this brings the person back, but it is our care made manifest. My mother always spoke about how the memory of the people who showed up at her father's funeral softened some of grief's more jagged edges.
A timeless antidote to helplessness is action. Or, as Professor David Orr put it, "Hope is a verb with its sleeves rolled up."
So when those we know, however peripherally, are directly impacted by this moment, reach out. It will not change the impact, but it can soften some of the more jagged edges.
And let's not forget: we are all impacted by this moment; we are called to show up for ourselves, too. As meditation teacher Jack Kornfield put it: "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete."
Here's the other thing about that doorstop book on former House Speaker Jim Wright: the perception of power is power, and perceptions change. History is filled with these falls from grace.
Years ago, Gandhi put it this way: "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always."
PS! Tired of feeling overwhelmed and powerless? I'm doing Civic Strategy Fireside Chats with individuals and organizations about how we can be rooted, impactful, and strategic during these chaotic moments. If interested, drop me a line!